Ten Ten's normal life
by myumyuneko
Summary: Story is incredibly graphic. If you have a weak heart you probably should not read this! It involves child abuse, sexual abuse, cutting, language, and anorexia. While some people may not have a problem with any of that, I feel I should warn those who are sensitive. Pairing: Naruto x Ten Ten Summary What if Ten Ten was not a ninja? What if she was a normal girl trying to survive?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note : **Please! Understand that this story is incredibly graphic. If you have a weak heart you probably should not read this! It involves child abuse, sexual abuse, cutting(Self harm), language, and anorexia. While some people may not have a problem with any of that, I feel I should warn those who are sensitive. Just in case. That being said, read on. I'm not sure if I've completely finished this story, I might add even more later on.

**Summary: **What if Ten Ten was not a ninja? What if she was a normal girl trying to survive?

**Pairing: **Ten Ten X Naruto

Ten Ten clutched the sides of the toilet, shutting her eyes and pushing her long bony fingers down her throat. She kept pushing until that familiar bubble from her stomach came. She coughed, hacking out all of the food that she'd just consumed into the once clean waters. Ten Ten took a shaky breath, her whole body was trembling. She repeated the process, once, twice, three times more. Flushing constantly. Tears leaked down her cheeks and she curled up right there, on the school's bathroom floor's. To herself she kept whispering over and over three words. "I will be skinny. I will be skinny. I will be skinny."

Ten Ten hugged herself as she sobbed and sobbed-the bell startled her...She struggled to get up, her legs wobbling under her, she grabbed her backpack, her purse, and went to class.

When Ten Ten got home, she went right to the bathroom, grabbed a razor from her secret place behind the mirror, and started to cut herself. She let out a breathy sigh, biting the side of her lip. She dug the razors sharp blade in, deeper, deeper. Her heart pounded against her chest. She watched as the blood, her stress, and her worries all poured down into the sink. Once clean but now dirty baring her negative feelings. "I will feel no more pain. I will feel no more pain." She whispered. "I will get rid of them, I will..." She added some cuts to her other arm, a little more sloppy being it that she was naturally left handed instead of right. The lines made were zig-zagging slightly.

It felt good though. It felt good for Ten Ten to feel this pain over the other pain. It felt nearly divine. Ten Ten was about to cut her skin, just a little more. When the front door opened and slammed shut. "Shit!" Ten Ten turned around, locking the door quickly-and pushing the handles on the sink, washing away the blood. She then bent down, reaching into the drawers below the sink, pulling out some bandaging.

"Ten Ten? Ten Ten darling where are you-? We have-some guests." Ten Ten gritted her teeth. So that was why her mother was acting so nicely to her; she finished tightened the bandaging, looked over at the door for a moment, unlocked it, and walked out of the bathroom. Forcing a smile to come onto her face. Her mother grabbed onto her sleeve, pushing her in front of herself. "Ten Ten this is Tom, he's from child protection services..."

Ten Ten gulped; made herself smile just a little brighter now. "Is he? There's no problems here you know! E-Everything is very good here. I'm-happy." Ten Ten couldn't help but to stutter, and fumble over the words, 'happy.' Because happy was an unfamiliar word. True happiness was a stranger to her. It was something she'd really never known.

The man standing in front of Ten Ten was a very tall man. He practically towered over her and Ten Ten wasn't short. Dark features, skinny, and glasses. He cleared his throat, adjusting those glasses so that they wouldn't rest on the bridge of his nose. "Yes well-." He paused, looking up at Ten Ten's mother with narrowed eyes. "I'd like to speak to her alone, if I may." Ten Ten looked up at her mother's face, which was tightening; smile twitching, she squeezed Ten Ten's shoulders a little. Not hard enough to hurt her though. "I'm afraid that'd be out of question, Tom."

Tom shrugged his shoulders. "Well miss Ann(I gave Ten Ten the last name of Ann since I don't know if she really has one...), I'd wish you'd reconsider. It's just a couple of questions." "No, I've already answered a few with you and you've seen that Ten Ten is fine. She said she was happy. That should be enough, shouldn't it? Now leave." Her voice was getting firmer, and Ten Ten could tell that-by her tone, she was trying her hardest not to start yelling at the guy.

Tom cleared his throat once more, gave a little nod, then left, and like that-Ten Ten was alone with her mother. "You told someone. You told someone, didn't you?" Ten Ten backed up, shaking her head. "No! I-I swear! I didn't tell anyone anything!" "Shut-up! Stop lying damn it!" A slap echoed out through the whole house. Ten Ten turned her head, holding her stinging cheek in her hands. "Is this how you repay me? They could take you away! Send me to jail! Do you understand that? Do you even have a fucking clue?"

Ten Ten looked down. She honestly didn't know why the man had come. She really hadn't said a word to anyone. "I feed you, I give you clothes, I make sure that you are clean!" Ten Ten winced, her mother came close to her, grabbing her by her shirt. "Maybe you need to be reminded."

"Please no..."

"No? Did you really just say no to me?" Ten Ten coughed, a blow delivered to her ribs easily knocked the wind out of her and sent her to the ground. Ten Ten whimpered, curling up in a small ball. "No, you aren't done!" Her mother grabbed her by her hair, forcing her up. She held her there, by her hair while she gave her multiple blows to her legs, stomach and chest. She wouldn't stop, just as Ten Ten tears wouldn't stop flooding down her hollow cheeks.

When her father came home, that's when she stopped. dropping her daughter and letting her crumple into a heap there. She stomped away, into her room presumably. "Oh, Ten Ten..." Dropping his bags, her father rushed over to her. He gently, with as much care as possible, picked her up. Her legs dangled uselessly; her eyes close, head lolling from side to side as he walked with her. He only let her go to carefully set her on her bed. Stroking her hair with his large hands in a comforting sort of gesture.

"Oh Ten Ten...I'm so sorry. But you know how your mother can get. How she can-." He trailed off. "Rest up baby doll."

"Brat! GET UP! You'll be late for school if you don't fucking hurry up!" Ten Ten opened her eyes half way-her body was still aching all over the place. She didn't know how much more she might be able to take before her body stopped working right. She limped her way over to her small closet, picking out her old brown dress. She put it on as quickly as she could, with her leg throbbing in pain-it was exceedingly hard.

"If you are down her in five seconds-you are going to get another beating!" She hollered, venom laced in her tune. She knew she would to...Ten Ten ran with her limp, down the stairs. "Finally. Looks like I'm going to have to waste gas money on driving you to school." She hissed, shoving Ten Ten's backpack at her-she caught it, but stumbled back a little. "Come on!" Ten Ten followed after her mother, head down.

Ten Ten limped her way into the car and her mother eyed her. "Stop that! Stop limping right now! You think what I gave you last night was bad? I could give you worse, much worse. Now get your ass in the fucking car." Ten Ten tried to walk normally-but it just brought so much pain. She whimpered a little, scooting into the back seat, farthest away from her mother. She could sit in the front, but wouldn't.

School auditions were today, for the concert and Ten Ten wanted to preform, with a song. Even if she'd be late coming home, and even if her mother would beat her to death. She was going to sing from her soul, she was going to let people know. "They'll all hear my pain..." She whispered against the window. "And maybe things will finally change." She got out of the car as fast as she could-the very moment her mother stopped the car, running, even though it hurt, into the school...

The kids, even though she was thin, incredibly thin, still called her Fat Ten Ten full of lard. Over and over and over again. But Ten Ten wasn't bothered by them. Not today.

"Ten Ten? I'm surprised to see you here-but welcome!" The teacher smiled warmly at Ten Ten, who managed to muster up a small smile. "What song will you be singing dear?" Ten Ten took a deep breath, in and out. "I'm going to be singing I'm destroying myself." The teachers eyebrows rose a little, but she played the beat. "Whenever you are ready then..."

Ten Ten looked down, then up with a look of determination. "A side of me wants to be free, a side of me wants to stay a prisoner. A mental disease-is destroying myself." Ten Ten waited as the tune of the piano rolled on for a little bit. The whole crowd was silent now. "I wanna live long, wanna live free, wanna be healthy! But I'm spending my time-doing my best to destroy myself..." Tears came into Ten Ten's eyes as she continued on with the song. Her voice never changed though, it was neither high, neither low.

"I know what I'm doing is wrong, but the disease is strong." She took a couple steps back. Her voice was pouring out all of her emotions the hurt clear in her chocolate brown eyes. "Stronger than my will of going on! And I do my best-to destroy myself." Tears wouldn't stop, but she didn't wipe them away. "I'm destroying myself, but I do admit, I may need help! Can somebody get me out of this nightmare?" Her eyebrows knitted together, she closed her eyes-unable to look at all those faces, watching her...

"I'm destroying myself-but I do admit, I may need help! Can somebody get me out of this nightmare?" Her eyes opened then, to reveal pleading eyes, filled with sorrow, she turned around. "I thought I had the control, I thought I could hold on. The reindeers of my life, but I failed, and I need some help to rebuild myself." She lowered her eyelids, near to closing them.

"Ohhh I hate. This new side of me, that can never see-the abyss I am putting myself in, this new side of me that likes to destroy myself." Her hand went to place itself upon her heart. "I'm destroying myself, but I do admit-I may need help! Can somebody get me out of this nightmare? Get me out of this nightmare! I'm destroying myself, but I do admit, I may need help. Can somebody get me out of this nightmare?" She walked forward, to the edge of the stage. "A side of me wants to be free, a side of me wants to stay prisoner. A mental disease-is destroying myself."

The red curtain fell and Ten Ten looked away, walked-having no regrets.

Someone, with dark raven hair stopped her from leaving. "Wait. Please. You sang with so much passion, like-." He looked over her with black eyes. Ten Ten said nothing. "You were actually experiencing this pain. Are you okay?" Ten Ten glared at him. "I'm fine, it was just a song." She pushed past him, her bangs hiding her eyes and her tears flying in the air.

But that boy, he wasn't so sure, he watched as Ten Ten left, concerned.

Ten Ten ran her hands across her scars littering her arms, small ones, big one, ones that bulged out, and ones that were indented.

Ten Ten could remember the very day that her mother had started to abuse her, and take her anger out on her. It led to a life that was a living breathing nightmare. Oh yes, she could remember it clearly, as if it had just happened yesterday...

Ten Ten was putting away the dishes, she could remember holding a large plate when her mother had walked in...Drunk and in raged. Ten Ten accidentally dropped the plate, and her mothers eyes narrowed at her. "You-that was fine china!" She screamed, grabbing pieces of the plate, throwing them at her daughters back. Lucking the shards didn't stick in, but they hit her back, hard.

Ten Ten cried out in pain falling to the floor. "You useless, pathetic piece of shit! Get up, GET UP AND CLEAN THIS ALL UP!" Ten Ten trembled, getting up shakily before she was knocked back down by her mother. "What are you waiting for, huh? I said get UP." Ten Ten wiped away her tears with her sleeves, palms of her hand pressed against the floor as she tried to push herself up, while her mother's foot still remained on her back.

"W-well if you would just-t-take your foot off my b-b-." Her mother rammed her foot out and Ten Ten cried out again. "Y-your hurting me Mommy!" Her mother stopped for a moment, her eyes wide. She dropped to her knees, pulling Ten Ten into her lap. "I'm-I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry!" Ten Ten and her mother both started crying, her mother rocking Ten Ten back and forth.

At the time, her mother had broken down. But there was never a time again that Ten Ten had been held like that by her mother...

The next day-her father asked her to come into his room..."F-father? You called for me?" Her father rose from his bed slowly, smiling at her. "Yes baby doll, I did. You are 13 now...And it's my duty to make sure that you become a woman as of right now." Ten Ten lost her innocence that day, from her own father...Something that she will never ever get back...

-  
On the fourth day of Ten Ten's on going abuse, was the day that her will broke, and she started to cut herself, only leaving more wounds, separate from the ones that her mother and father had both given to her. But Ten Ten was facing another problem-it related to her weight. "I'm fat...Fat..." She whispered, looking at herself in the mirror, where there was folds of skin overlapping each other. Ten Ten clutched her fists at her side, starring with anger at the girl reflecting herself in the mirror.

"Go away!" She shouted raising her fist and smashing it into the mirror. She fell to her knees, crying, crying and holding her bleeding hand. Glass stuck in it. She pulled them out, quickly tearing a part of her shirt of and tying it over the wound. "Oh god..." Ten Ten ran her good hand through her tresses. "What was that noise?" Ten Ten paled, quickly, she scurried over to her bed and crawled under it.

Her chest rose and fell, she watched someone walk in. Her mother. Her shoes white. Ten Ten guessed she'd come back from her job at the hospital. She shut her eyes, listening to her mother as she discovered the shattered mirror, blood and glass around the floor. "..." It was just a gasp at first, her mother was so stunned at the sight of blood, and-the big crack in the mirror. It's missing pieces-"TEN TEN!" She suddenly hollered, running out of her room. Ten Ten briskly crawled out when she was sure her mother was a good distance away from her.

She grabbed her elbow with her good hand. Walking out of the room slowly, regretting every single step that she took. "TEN TEN WHERE ARE YOU?! GET OVER HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Ten Ten winced, running into the bathroom, shutting the door, locking it swiftly behind her. She slid down the door. Her hair snaking it's way down. It waved like the stringy brown hair was moving, slithering down the bathrooms wooden door.

She hid her face in her knees, crying in them. A sudden pounding on the door startled her. She rose her head up, her eyes wide-the size of golf balls. "YOU LITTLE BITCH! I'VE SEEN WHAT YOU'VE DONE! GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW!" Ten Ten shook her head, even if her mother couldn't see it. She was far to scared to use any words...Fear vibrating through out her entire body. Her mother's voice lowered, became softer now. Still, it had that sinister tone to it. "You'll have to come out at some point Ten Ten darling." She hissed through the crack in the door. "And when you do, I'll be ready for you..."

Ten Ten just shivered.

Later, Ten Ten was on her knees, head bowed and her hands out in front of her. "I don't know if you are there, or if-if you can even hear me right now. God, but I need your help. Oh, and I've never really been one to ask so much of you. I know you probably don't want to waste your time, with a worthless little creature like me. I only want to ask you one thing though." Ten Ten clenched her teeth, grinding them against each other. "Why-why was I made to suffer in such ways? There's no love here anymore...Tell me. Why was I brought here if only to get a great deal of pain. Can you please just answer me that one question? Please..."

Ten Ten woke up later, still there in the bathroom floor. She was laying on the pink fuzzy rug. Her eyebrows knitted together. She starred at the floor. Once, she could remember seeing a girl with long pink hair, throwing up in the sink. When she had asked her way she was doing it, the girl had turned to her, looking her over for a moment, before she sneered at her. Ten Ten looked down. "Well," She started, voice annoyingly high. "If you MUST know fatty, I'm trying to get skinnier." Ten Ten blinking, slowly looking back up at the tall girl. "Skinnier? But why? I mean, you already look pretty skinny to me..."

She laughed. "HA! Of course I'd look skinny to a fatty like you, but I'm just not skinny enough, you see?" Ten Ten bit her lip. "But-." "Look." She rudely cut in. "You can NEVER be to skinny."

That's when Ten Ten started throwing up all of the food that she ate...And more and more troubles starting coming to her. In just a couple of weeks, the fold of fat she carried around with her were starting to disappear and she still thought she was fat though. The skinny girl was right, truly-one could never be skinny enough.

"Ten Ten? Baby doll? What are you doing in there? Are you sick?" Her father's concerned voice rang through behind the wooden door. Ten Ten frowned, he didn't really care if she was sick or not! The only remote reason that he would be concerned about her health is so that when he was forcing her to do such strange and awful things, he wouldn't get sick in the process.

Ten Ten did feel sick to her stomach though... She flushed the toilet, feeling the clean waters back with her vomit, flushing it two more times before she finally stepped out of the bathroom, her fiery red hair a complete mess. Sticking out on all ends. It looked just like a hurricane had hit it. Her eyes were blood shot and she was still clutching her sides.

"Up to bed Ten Ten." He sighed. "You aren't going to school today..." "But I!" Ten Ten tried to protest. "No buts! Up to bed right now, you need plenty of rest! I'll bring you some OJ and toast with peanut butter and the crust cut off just like you like it!" Ten Ten forced a light smile to come to her face. "Thanks Dad..."

Sometimes, Ten Ten forgot how evil her father could be when he did stuff like this. He could be nice but also very evil.

Ten Ten closed her eyes as her dad pulled the cover over her. Kissing her forehead before he walked out of the room.

Ten Ten dreamed of a beautiful world. A world where she was skinny enough. A world with loving parents who didn't take there love to far, and a world where the kids at school were nice. Friends were plentiful. Most of all, Ten Ten dreamed of a world, of a place-that she could finally. Finally! Be happy.

Ten Ten's Point of View...From the pages of her Journal.

**Age 14, Entry 1: **

Today...I got this nice notebook from one of the teachers. They said I could write in it. I could write anything that I wanted. So here we go I guess. Where to begin? How about school-well more on school anyways. getting this was the high-light of my day. Kiba saw me though, getting the notebook and he and his friends went 'an beat me up today, after school was over. They cornered me. Took turns, until they got tired of hitting me. This caused me to then get late going home. Mother wasn't pleased and Daddy was beside himself with worry. I guess I got what was coming to me. Even though I tried explaining to Mum-Mommy just doesn't like excuses. It was the truth. I'd tried to persist-but she didn't believe me. I'm thankful that she didn't use the whip this time, or the knife...

**Age 14 Entry 2:  
**

Today...Dad came to visit me. He looked chipper, excited. I knew why; I knew that he want me, wanted me to do what we have kept a secret from dear sweet Mother, I knew he wanted me at this moment. As he shut the door behind him, locked it, and strolled almost in a casual way towards me. "You're mother is away. You know what that means, right?" He asked me, I just merely nodded my head, eyes vacant and emotionless when he unzipped his pants, and shoved that-_thing_in my face. I complied with out complaint. Did as he wanted for him, and watched him leave after getting what he wanted. Now I'm here; laying down in my bed, flipping the stained covers the other way and after washing my teeth, my face of dirty filth. Writing. I can't write anymore though, I hear Mom calling me...Wish me the luck I desperately need.

**Age 14 Entry 3:  
**

There was a girl at school today, she was actually nice to me. Her hair was like gold strands straight from the sun, Straight and pulled back Much better than my own Brown hair and even though it was pulled back-it sorted just fitted her. You know? The light captured it perfectly, and it framed her face. Her eyes were two completely beautiful hues of blue. Like the ocean. Her eyes were brought into focus by her large Harry-Potter sized glasses, seemingly magnifying them. Her outfit was a strange assembly of various colors, and silly words were sprawled across the middle of her shirt. Her stockings didn't match. One striped, the other polka dots! Large shoes; untied laces, covered small feet, seemed to nearly threaten to fall off after every step she took. She was different from everybody else, and as I continued to watch her-I drew the conclusion she cared not what people thought about her! It didn't seem to get to her when someone tripped her and said, "Have a nice fall oddball?" Why, she laughed, picked up her stuff and responded by saying, "It was a nice one, thanks!" I wished I could be like her...

**Age 14 Entry 4:  
**

Ino. Her name is Ino. She told me as she passed by me in the halls. I was a bit startled, but I'd told her my name. She said she wasn't going to stay here long, maybe only a week. One week? My hopes of having a friend had been crushed..."But don't worry!" After observing my face, I could tell she saw how sad I'd gotten. "We'll meet up again, this-I promise!" How could I not believe her? I had too. Or I wouldn't be able to believe in anything, anymore...For one week-I'll know for sure. I'm going to be a little more happy.

**Age 14 Entry 5:  
**

To be completely honest with you journal, I am fairly angry with Ino right now. She was being a bit to noisy for me and my tastes. I mean, father hadn't mean to hit me, I was just-in the way. So I had to put a bandage over my nose. She asked about it today when she in front of me during lunch. I told her though that I was okay, and that she didn't need to worry about it. I even gave her one of my realistic smiles! Usually, it was good enough to fool anyone. But apparently not her. She fixed her glasses, moving them around on her nose before she cleared her throat and looked me right in the eye. Being naturally nervous, I looked away from her gaze. "I don't believe you." But-why? No one had ever seen past my realistic smile before! "Tell me the truth." She was insistent. I cleared my throat, just like she had, still smiling that smile-as if I could reassure her. "I'm perfectly fine Ino, there really is no reason to worry!" She leaned across the table and wore a deep frown. "Not convincing. T-r-u-t-h." I slammed my fist against the table, left my food and grabbed my stuff. "I don't have to explain!" I dashed off. I think she was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't hear it, and I really didn't want to even. I was running, running to the one place that I could hide. The bathroom...

**Age 14 Entry 6:  
**

Ino followed me home today, she kept asking me about a lot of stuff, like-why I was wearing the same thing I'd worn yesterday, and-why did I seem to have more bruises around my face and arms and legs. It was really starting to annoy me, really! "Oh-Ten Ten...You brought along a-friend have you?" My mother asked upon our entry inside of the house. Her smile was twitching, and her head was craning to the side. "Without asking me?" Ino cut in at this point, shaking her head. "No, I'm sorry, I kind of invited myself over-I'll go..." Mother rested the palm of her hand against the kitchen counter, leaning against it. "No, that's fine _darling._Just be sure that you play nice with each other okay? Oh, I'm just so absolutely thrilled that my baby doll has finally seemed to make a friend!" I ushered Ino out of the kitchen, quickly. I didn't want to be in the same room as my mother any longer then I had too..."You're mother seems nice!" She said to me, when finally-we made it into my room and I closed the door behind me. I forced a smile. "Yes...My mother-is. A great mother. She's terrific. The best that anyone could ever ask for." I gritted my teeth against each other. This-was probably the hardest lie that I'd ever told to-anybody. "And you're father's gotta be great too!" I just nodded, forcing my smile to stay.

"Yes...He is-wonderful."

**14 Entry 7:  
**

Ino told me today that her parents decided to move earlier, and that now-she'd be leaving after tomorrow. I said nothing, only smiled and trembled like I usually did when I was scared. Why was I scared. Why was I scared? This kept playing over and over. The same question. Just like it was a broken record. Why was I scared that Ino was leaving? Ah, and there it was. A momentary pause filled my mind as the question was completed and my mind was begging, or maybe more so nagging me really to answer it now. I wasn't really sure. Maybe it was because I was sad though, sad that I was going to be missing my only friend. Losing her. Ino seemed to sense my inner turmoil-or, no. That doesn't sound right. How could she possibly have? She probably had seen my trembling I suppose that was it, the reason that she asked me in such a concerned voice if I was okay and if I may need to go to the nurse. I merely nodded my head for a minute. I felt like I was choking, trying hard to get the words out and form. Another minute passed before I was finally able to get myself to talk again. "I-hope that you make many new friends wherever you move."

Ino smiled at me softly, reaching her hand out to gently touch my shoulder. I was going to miss her. So very much. "Are you afraid of losing me? You're probably going to miss me a lot, I'm sure-right?" Nod. "Don't worry." She told me, smile getting brighter, she reached into her pocket, and brought out a green beaded anklet, handing it to me. "I'm coming back, so there's no reason to miss me, or be afraid, k?"

**Entry 8 Age 14  
**

Today, was awful. A group of jocks grabbed me. I think that there might have been three of them. They held my squirming body and threw me into a garbage can. Closing it up. They all took turns sitting on the lid, laughing so that I was unable to get out. I was starting to feel really tipsy. The smell was nauseating. No clean air. To make matter worse, some food thrown in was starting to get me all sticky. my hair easily got tangled up in some things and drinks with some liquid still in them splashed onto my clothes; my hair. When the bell ran they finally got off of the lid I punched the lid off, tumbling out, of the can. Garbage clinging to some parts of my body.

I tried to fight them back, they made it clear that they weren't quite finished with me just yet. Dragging me into the boy's bathroom, my head and face was submerged under the water. I shut my eyes. My lungs heaved and I clutched my stomach, rancid water filled my mouth. Then it was, that I realized I'd taken in a mouthful of piss. I vomited into the toilet, they laughed more, I managed to get in one last clean breath of air before they's pushed me back down, so as to probably let me taste my own vomit...This went on for what seemed like forever. They were just-relentless!

I cried, they dragged me out, people starred and started pointing at me, laughing at me.

I was so frustrated! Garbage littered around in my hair, papers and wrappers stuck to my clothes. I think there was some noddles in my hair even. When I got home, no one was there, so I quickly trudged into the bathroom to scrub myself clean of all the filth, picking off what I could and throwing it away. This happened, and I couldn't stop it.

**Entry 9 Age 14**

The next day, one, just one of the jocks came over to me. I backed up and trembled. What did he want, I'd thought. What did he want from me? Hadn't he made a fool of me enough already as is? I shut my eyes, prepared for the worst. Arms up to deflect blows intended anywhere near my face. "I'm not going to hurt you." He finally mumbled. I dared to open one eye and look at him. His hair was a bright blonde color and his eyes strangely a dark blue color.

His hands were stuffed deep into his pockets. I looked back at him, face neutral. "What?" I wondered, and I hoped that he had come to me to apologize then, but I knew that the chances of him wanting to do that were very, very slim. "I said," He cleared his throat, as if there might have been something there, "I didn't come over here to hurt you. I came here because I want you to help me."

It was-very unexpected, I must say, because I certainly wasn't expecting this. "What?" I repeated dumbly, still not fully sure if I had heard him right. What in the world could he need my help for anyways? He was a big, strong, handsome guy! Anything should be a piece of cake for him! Right? Well I thought so anyways until he hesitantly continued on. "You see, the big game is coming up and-." There it was. He didn't even have to finish, because I already knew.

I sighed.

"Well, what subject is it then." He rubbed the back of his head, and looked to the side. "Well 'er...Uh. Pretty much all of them." I rubbed my sore temples. "Okay, yeah. I'll help you. No teasing me anymore though." He nodded, smile breaking over his face. "Of course! I'm not going to promise I can get rid of how my friends treat you though." I starred at him blankly.

"It's not like I expected that you could anyways. Give me your address. We can meet up after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays if you'd like and that works out with you." He nodded. "Of course! Just not on Fridays. That's when practice is." I nodded; started to walk away. "Oh and Ten Ten?" I stopped. "Yeah?" "I'm sorry."

**Entry 10 Age 14**

I found out that his name was Naruto. I didn't shock me that Naruto's life seemed perfect. In and outside of school. His house was big, his family was kind, sweet. His mother even made up a batch of cookies for us while I helped him out. I had three. They were delicious. But of course they were delicious. How could he be such a brute when his parents seemed so elegant? Classy and intelligent, Naruto's parents were the exact opposite of him. It made no since, really...

Naruto was actually a pretty fast learner, and it didn't take him long to get things down. I was impressed, and he was grateful. "You are awesome! None of the teachers could make me get it! You...On the other hand, with you - I just get it like that!" I smiled softly. "I'm glad that I can help."


	2. Chapter 2

Journal Entry ? Age 14

I saw that same girl from before. The one with the pink hair, who helped me understand. She looked over at me, scanning with light green colored eyes. As she did to me, I had to her. Her hair was no longer long, but now short. The tips reaching her shoulder. I found it strange how pointed they seemed to be. Now, given Naruto's hair was more pointy - but I figured that he might have spiked his hair up to look like that. She smiled at me and I felt my heart thump hard. What might she say to me now?

She whistled through her teeth, giving appreciative nod. "Wow! Fatty, you've lost a LOT of weight haven't you? You are really looking good, good job! You took a page from me, I'm so proud!" She strides with a beautiful air of confidence over to me. Her hips are giving a sort of natural shake, seemingly moving to a silent beat. I found her top strange, I had little cleavage, and hers were just a little bigger then my own, but they were hanging out. Like she was purposefully trying to expose, and show them off to the whole entire world.

"As a treat." I quickly looked back up at her; a flawless face looked back down at me. Smiling, not caring where i'd even been looking, or maybe she hadn't even noticed. I wasn't so sure. "I'll let YOU sit by me and my friends!" I took a step back. Was she serious? Was this some kind of sick joke. She frowned, eyelids lowering. "Unless you don't want to, that's fine." I shook my head quickly. "N-No! I want to sit by you!" Her smile returned to her face and she collapsed a hand around my shoulder. "Great!" I was taller than her, and yet I felt so small in comparison to her.

"Oh, and what's you're name? I'm Sakura, but of course, you probably already know that, with how popular, pretty, and skinny I am!" She laughed, and I looked down. "I'm Ten Ten..." She grinned. "You are in luck Ten Ten! I'm going to do everything in my power to make you beautiful! Well, of course, not as beautiful as I am though. You are going to be my next project~!"

I regret not walking away.

Journal Entry ? Age 14

The last time Sakura explained to me, that she had made someone her project; they'd failed miserably, and hadn't fit her expectations, which she told me were extremely high. "What happened to her then?" I'd asked, and gotten a laugh right away. "Well, after I gave her a make-over and then told her how to act, she, well she just wouldn't follow my advice! Can you believe it? I mean I was trying to help her but nooo!" I tapped my chin, looked around the lunch room as we walked in. "Who was this girl." "Shiho." Sakura automatically said, leading me over to her table.

"But I won't have to worry, it looks like you followed some of my words already and became skinny! Do you remember what I said way back when we first met?" I nodded. "Yes, you said that you can never be to thin." Like a dog she treated me, by patting the top of my head and saying, "Good girl!"

I sat next to her and A girl with blonde hair. I front me was a girl with long red hair and glasses. In front of Sakura and sitting next to the red headed girl was a seemingly moody guy with Raven hair, spiked in the back. "Ten Ten, this is Temari." She pointed to the girl who was right next to me. "Kurenai." The red head girl looked up, and smiled. "And finally we have my boyfriend, Sasuke~!" The raven haired boy looked up and growled. "We are NOT dating."

Sakura rolled her eyes, leaning over to whisper in my ear, "He doesn't like admitting to it, but he really is." I just nodded. A guy with a high ponytail rudely pushed Temari over, and sat down with a grunt. "Oh, and that's Shikamaru." Sakura rolled her eyes again. "Hey!" Temari shoved Shikamaru some, angrily. To avoid getting pushed, I scooted a little closer to Sakura. She smiled, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close; flush up against her side actually.

It was weird, I looked up at her questioningly. "Gotta wait for those to to settle down." How long was it going to take? It felt weird being so close to Sakura like this...

Journal Entry ? Age 14

Sakura said that today, after school I should come over so that she could give me a make-over. Luckily she had told me this ahead of time. I told my parents about it. After beating me, mother said it was okay. Then, I called up Naruto and said that I wouldn't be able to come over and help him out. He said that it was fine too. So I looked over the address Sakura had given me after lunch and headed over there.

Her house was not nearly as elegant, or as big as Naruto's was. Really, it was only a little bigger than my house and inside it was a horrible mess! Dirty clothes were laying everywhere, I didn't see her mom, but I saw her dad, in front of a small TV giving off fuzzy images. Shirt white and stained with something orange in the middle. Fatter than I am. I still believe I'm pretty fat, even though Sakura tells me I'm not, and even though she constantly tells me that I'm skinny.

Her room was neat and tidy, unlike the whole rest of thee house. She eagerly pushed me over to a chair, it was comfortable, and in front of me there was a vanity mirror. Big in the sense of width and height. It was then that I noticed it was also a dresser, but I'd already seen a dresser when I walked in, so this confused me. "This dresser is all for my make up and my jewels." She explained; must have seen my confused face. "I'm going to give you some stuff, so that you can look pretty and teach you how to use them, what to wear them with the outfits you have, teach you just how to act around others. You know, the works!" She giggled, her excitement was incredibly obvious to me, though I wasn't all that thrilled. I didn't want to be changed into something that I wasn't. It might help me though.

As much as I hated her, I didn't want to lose and important friend like Sakura...

"First things first! We need to get rid of these awful buns!" Sakura made a face, which I could see from where I was in the mirror. She pulled the ribbons holding my hair up in those buns - and instantly my hair flowed down, and earned a loud gasp from Sakura. "Oh my god! I love..." She choked up, hand to her lips. "I just love how long your hair is!" Even when I was in the shower, I sort of just washed my hair with it up. I never took it down. So it shocked me as well with how long it'd grown. Far past my feet, it trailed on the floor.

"Now the question is, what can I do with it?" She rubbed her chin, pondering the possibilities I supposed. She snapped her fingers suddenly. "I got it! Although, I'll need your permission. May I cut your hair?" I silently agreed.

"Alright! Ooo~I can just see it! You are going to be the talk of the school!" I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that. Was it wrong to trust her with cutting my hair? She pulled out a pair of scissors, I shut my eyes. I couldn't watch what she was doing with me hair. "So soft, and silky." I could hear her say, along with hearing the sound of the scissors cutting up my hair..."A clip here, and here - oh! And here to. Some layers..." I felt a brush run through my knotted hair. She combed out through the tangles, it was slightly painful...

When she was done, I opened my eyes finally. It was short, shorter than her hair now. A little past my chin, a layer on each side curled around the middle of my cheeks. "Thank you." Was all that I could say.


	3. Chapter 3

Journal Entry ? Age 14

Mom didn't care when I came home with a haircut, she said she was just glad that she didn't have to pay for one now, later she found a reason to beat me up. The dishes weren't clean enough. Dad frowned when he saw my hair, shaking his head. "Why would you do that Ten Ten? Long hair looked so much better on you." It was actually welcoming to hear from him. Maybe he'd stop touching me in the ways that he did now. But he might it very apparent that he wasn't when he gestured me to his room.

Journal Entry ? Age 14

Valentines day was coming up, Though I never usually think about it to much. I don't get sad that I don't have a love, or that I don't get cards or candies. Even if I did, the day would still me absolutely nothing to me. I mean, why should you have to feel obligated to give the one you love more attention and things without any real meaning? If I had someone, I'd tell them strictly not to get me anything. Valentines day was set so that people would think that if you didn't get the person you loved a gift then you didn't love them. When, personally I think I'd just love to hear my certain someone they loved me. Rather than waste away time thinking about what to get me, or wasting money.

I laid back in my bed, just starring up at the ceiling, and now just writing in you, my journal; one that listens to the thoughts I have.

Journal Entry ? Age 14

Naruto came over to me today, in front of everyone, the other jocks, Sakura...He hugged me from behind. I didn't know what to do. So I just let him stay there, and hug me. Sakura was smiling though, giving me a thumbs up, Hinata and Sasuke were with her. When I looked at Hinata, I thought I saw a flash of anger. Which, I thought was strange since Sakura told me that Hinata was shy...

I had nearly forgotten about it all. Until Hinata found me after school. She pushed med up against the wall, her bangs covering her pupil less eyes. I opened my mouth about to say something when she wrapped a hand around my throat. "Mine." She mumbled, leaning up to finally look at me. She wasn't choking me, her hand was just wrapped around my neck, still. I refused to move a muscle. "W-what?" I managed to say through my confusion. My mine was racing, a million thoughts racing. "Naruto is mine!" She hissed. "Don't ever touch MY Naruto again! Stay the hell away from him!"

Tears started to form in the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall. I tried to blink them away. Her grip around my neck tighten a little, I breathed in shakily. "Do you understand me?" I clenched my balled up fists at my side. "N-no..." She looked up at me again, this time, it seemed that she was even angrier. I wasn't sure why I'd said no. I should have said no. She was really pissed now. "I-I'm helping him study!" I quickly added, her grip loosened slightly. "You mean-you are his tutor?" She tilted her head to the side, hand still wrapped firmly around my neck. "Yes, yes! you can even ask him yourself! He's a nice guy, but I haven no interest in him or - anyone really at the moment..." She finally let go of my neck, my hands went up to rub it.

"So then, why did he hug you like that?" Her eyes were narrowed into slits, arm crossed over her chest. Which, I had to admit after glancing at her in the locker room, was pretty damn big. I shrugged at her question, sweating, and heart racing. "I-I'm not actually sure, I think he might have just been thanking me, or something." Hinata looked over me, scanning my eyes, as if she could tell in them if I was lying or telling the truth in them. "Okay, I believe you, and I'm sorry..." She looked down at her shoes awkwardly. "It's just that, I've loved Naruto for a long time, and he's never once noticed, or spoken to me." So her shyness was coming back now?

"Well, why don't you talk to him then?" She looked startled. "What? No! I can't do that!" I sighed. "Well, I don't really know what else to tell you. Don't blame me if he starts dating some girl, or that girl either Hinata. Because if you truly cared about him, or loved Naruto like you say you do, then it's actually quite foolish to not even have the courage to say hello to him." She was silent, so I walked past her. "Hey Ten Ten!" I turned around, Sakura was running over to me, with a big smile on her face. "Come 'n sleep over at my house!"

A sleep over? It would be my first one...

Journal Entry ? Age 14

I didn't even bother to ask my parents about going over to sleep over at Sakura's house. I just started packing up. I grabbed my favorite T-shirt. It was short sleeved, green, and had a watermelon stretched out in the front of it. A pair of my cleanest jeans, extra pair of sock, and pajama's. Then I grabbed a small blanket and pillow and set off, out the front door. I saw my mom's car coming forward though, and quickly ran to the side of the house, crouching down there, hiding for awhile until I heard the front door slam shut. I let out the breath that I'd been holding and ran.

I kept running, all the way to Sakura's house. Even though my lungs were on fire, and burning, and telling me to just stop. At least for a moment, I pushed on. Only stopping when I saw Sakura's house. Then, at this point, I sucked in as much oxygen as I could. Feeding my poor lungs that I'd pushed so hard. My legs tremble and I rested a few feet from her house. I thought maybe my mom might have seen me, so that's why I ran as fast as I did...

Sakura openly welcomed me, pulling me into a friendly embrace. She felt skinny. I wanted to be as skinny as she was. I haven't vomited in the toilet lately, ever since the jocks event happened. I'd have to try harder... She said she had the whole night planned out. She had a couple comedy movies, and set that later she'd paint my nails any color that I wanted. I said brown, and she made a face, but said O.K. Stressing it out as if it was going to be something that was terribly hard. She'd, as it turned out. Picked 'Ted' And 'The Water Boy.' They were actually really funny, I was clutching my sides by the end of them both; sore from all of my laughing.

She hesitated, and started painting my finger and toenails brown, painting her own a bright, light colored pink.

Then she asked me something I wasn't all that prepared for. "Have you ever-you know. done it with a girl before?" I starred at her, shock beyond belief. Did I just hear what she asked right? "Wha-what?" She twirled some of her pink locks around, looking up thoughtfully. "You know, have you ever done it with a girl?" My mouth fell open. "W-why?" She shrugged. "Well, I'm just curious is all..." Since she'd asked I'd figured I could. "H-have you?" She turned her eyes back to me now, and smiled. "Yeah!" I shook my head. "Well-I haven't." Her eyebrows rose, her smile was still on her face though. "Wanna try it?"

"...Why not?"

This was experimental, and there's nothing wrong with doing a little experimenting, is there?

Journal Entry

Naruto was mad at me, today, he cornered me and slammed his fist near my head, instead hitting the wall. I jumped, and looked up at his face, but it was clouded over with his bangs, just like how Hinata had done... I was worried I'd be facing a much worse scenerio now, though. So I trembled there. "Why weren't you at my house last night? Where were you! You were suppose to be there!" I trembled in my spot, shaking. "I-I slept over at a friends house! I'm sorry, I forgot to call you..." He punched the wall angrily. "Sorry won't cut it! I had a big test today, and I was depending on you to be there for me yesterday!"

What could I do? He was so angry...

Journal Entry ?

When the blood pooled down the sink, I finally felt better. The tingling pain reminded me that I was still alive. I felt it. Trickling down my arm. A breathy sigh escaped my lips and I smiled. Such a comforting tool that it was! I shivered. Something-didn't feel all that right, though...I can't-everything's turning black. What-I don't-I don't understand. What's going on? I can't feel anything, see anything. Just darkness. Am I-dead? Light erupted from my vision, I forced my eyelids open, blurry. Someone was above me and talking. What? I can't understand anything that you are saying! What is going on! Please tell me...I'm so-confused, so scared. Help. I don't want to die. "Ey, Hey-Hey! Ten-Ten, Ten-Ten!"

Sa-ku-ra?

What was she doing here? I opened my mouth, since when did it get so dry, or so hard to form words. "Sa-." I started, only t have her instantly stop me. "Don't, no. Don't you dare speak at all right now!" She looked-frightened, but her face also had a sort of determination to it, like-she was fighting the urge to cry, her brows furrowed and her lips quivering. "Gonna get you help, I'm going to get you help." She, with seemingly amazing strength, picked me up from the ground and held me like one might hold a baby. I felt so light and small in her arms...She was light too, which I suppose what really surprised me that she would-no could hold me in such a way, even with how light I was. I'm sure that-she was probably lighter...

"Gonna get you help." She repeated, grunting. I heard a drip, then noticed my arm was still bleeding. I'd cut pretty deep this time. I closed my eyes, it was so much effort to just keep them open...Sakura shook me. "No! No you can't close your eyes! You might have a concusion from the fall you took! I'll ask later about what happened to your arm when you are in better condition, but I do expect an answer from you!" Had I miss judged Sakura? Maybe...She really cared about me?

Sakura dropped me off in the Nurse's office, The nurse was surprised at the amount of blood gushing from my arm, but she'd told me and Sakura that she'd be able to fix it up. She gave Sakura a change of clothes, a shower,(because i'd gotten a lot of blood on them and her) and said that she could go now. Sakura refused though, said that she wanted to stay by my side. She grabbed onto my hand and even with the nurse's encouraging words, acted as if I was going to die.

I knew that I wasn't going to die, even though that's what I really wanted. Nothing in my life has really changed. I'm still being abuse, still being bullied. Still being hurt. I only cause trouble for other people now. Sakura...I don't understand why she's acting like she cares so much. Isn't she just acting anyways? If she's not even...I'm just a burden on her for causing her to worry so much on someone that doesn't need it, or is even worth it. I'm just a waste of space aren't I? Still. My throat was terribly dry. I guess I'll be a little selfish and ask Sakura if she might get me some water.

"Water...Please?" Sakura dropped my hand gently and rushed over to the sink, the nurse had some small paper cups filling one of them with some water. She came back over to me then, thrusting the cup in my face, nervous expression written on her face. I blinked once, Pushing myself up weakly. Sakura sprang into action, immediately helping me sit up without me even asking her to. "Thanks." I mumbled, she shook her head brows furrowing. "Just drink! Don't talk until it's comfortable to!" She sounded like a teacher.

I smiled a little. I opened my mouth, slowly pouring the water in. Sink water wasn't the best by any means, but it was still water, and it was still very refreshing, so I wouldn't complain. "So." Sakura said, I turned my head to her, her arms were crossed over her chest. Her face serious now, yet I still saw some of that nervousness laying in her eyes. "Why'd you did it? I mean, why were you cutting yourself like that?"

I looked away from her, she reached out and grabbed my shoulder. "Why were you doing that? I won't leave, or drop the subject until you tell me!" She persisted. "It doesn't matter." She tightened her grip on my shoulder. "You have to tell me Ten-Ten! Even if it hurts to tell someone about your problems, you'll feel a lot better in the end! I know how it feels."

That made something inside of me snap, I don't know what it was, but just hearing her say that she knows how I felt had angered me. "And just how could you possibly understand how I feel, huh?" She seemed a bit taken back with the sudden change in my voice, the look on my face, probably to. I knew I didn't look all that friendly for sure. "You have no idea! No right to say you know how I feel!" Even someone who is a nothing but a worthless piece of shit gets angry, even though I had no right. "I cut to get rid of my stress, to feel good about having control over something, now leave. Just leave. That's the information that you wanted to know right. Now just go."

She left, without saying a word.

Journal entry ?

I dreaded the next day of school more then I dreaded encountering one of mother's morning beatings. It meant I'd have to not only Naruto about missing one of our study successions again, but also facing Sakura now after yelling at her, and telling her the reason that I cut. It's wasn't going to be a fun day...

But to my surprise, Sakura didn't ignore me when I came up to me, or yell at me, or starting crying...None of that, she didn't do any of that. Instead I was met with a hug and the usual chatty Sakura. Acting as if everything was okay, acting as if everything was normal. And I didn't understand it. I just didn't understand it. It's not like she could have just forgotten what had happened yesterday. Unless, she wasn't bringing it up because she knew it would upset me?

"Hey, HEY! Earth to Ten-Ten! Hellooo!" I shook my head. "Huh?" She rolled her eyes and smiled. "I sa-id," hands on her hips, cocking them to one side before continuing, "the dance is coming up! Aren't you super duper excited or what? I am, and I finally got Sasuke to agree to go with me!" I rose a brow. "Oh really? And how'd you manage that?" She winked. "I pestered him constantly." I gave a knowing nod. "Ah, I see." She stuffed her hands into her pockets. "Sooo?" She drawled, leaning closer to me with a creepy smile.

"Uh...So what?"

She groaned and bent back, hand over her face.

"Are you going to the dance?"

"Um. No."

"Why not?"

"I have no one to go with."

"So? Go with friends!"

"You are the only friend I have." I pointed out to her, one of her eyes squinted, her eyebrow rose.

"Whatttt! What are you talking about?! Everyone we sit with, they are just as much your friends as they are mine!"

I sighed, I really just didn't want to go to the dance at all. Mother would for sure beat me up for even asking, and I'd probably have something broken as a result of it.

~Journal mysteriously ends there.~

Journal entry ?

Yesterday, I somehow managed to avoid Naruto, or maybe he was avoiding me. Not that I cared or anything. Today though, I did see him, and when our eyes made unfortunate contact, he rushed over to me. He cornered me into a wall, both hands on either side of me, trapping me. There was no way to escape. "You've missed even more sessions." He muttered. I looked away. "I-haven't really been feeling well." He starred up at me, his blue eyes dark but otherwise unreadable. "Well, to make it up to me...How about going to the dance with me?"

"H-huh?"

He couldn't have been serious, could he? His eyes changed a little, serious, but still-with that darkness in them. "Go to the dance with me. You weren't there to help me out, so it's the least you can do, right? Go to the dance with me."

"B-but! My mother won't let me go to the dance!" I protested quickly, brushing my hair out of my face. "Then sneak out, or whatever." He said it so nonchalantly...As if it was that easy. It really wouldn't be, and the pain, the punishment after it! "I-I can't! I really, I just can't. You don't know my parents!" No one ever will. "What'll they do huh? Ground you?" He was getting irritated, but only if he knew...He grabbed my hands, what was surprising to me was that he was holding them gently...


End file.
